


I want

by ShadowSelene (Shadowdianne)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 17:06:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18183377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowdianne/pseuds/ShadowSelene
Summary: "How long are you planning on standing there?" Asked by waknatious back at tumblr





	I want

 

"How long are you planning on standing there?"

The words came out brasher than expected and Regina winced as she heard the ruffle of Emma’s shoes against the floor, the carpet doing nothing to cover the fidgeting. Glancing up from the papers she had been staring at, she zeroed on the younger woman’s face, pen still on her fingers and mind filled with laws and rules that felt far much more complicated now that logistics of different realms and kingdoms needed to be taken into account.

Although, the brunette admitted to herself, Emma’s presence was enough to relegate those concerns to the back of her mind. Putting the pen down, she tilted her head and tucked a few strands of her own hair behind her ear, waiting for the blonde to speak. Something, she recalled, that they hadn’t truly done ever since the coronation.

The memory must have been shown on her face as Emma stifled a surly chuckle, one that died almost as soon as it was born and that hung between them while the blonde put both of her hands on her jeans’ back pockets, the movement causing the long-sleeved she wore -far too thin, to rile up just enough for Regina to lose momentarily track of her thoughts.

“I don’t know.” It took the brunette a couple of seconds to realize Emma was answering to her previous question. Her voice was subdued, soft, and Regina’s fingers curled irreflexively at that detail, at the way that, despite the pale mirroring of a pose Regina knew was Emma’s, the voice that escaped from her wasn’t.

Once upon a time she had accepted that fact, that change, as part of something that had happened so subtly she hadn’t realized when it had settled in. Now, however, after spending so long away from the blonde woman, the difference between her memories, the real ones, the ones that had haunted her in the form of dreams and ghosts and shadows, and the woman that now stood in front of her was far too painful, far too ire-inducing. She, however, could feel her magic beginning to crackle through her veins, purple biting into her flesh and she averted her eyes form the blonde figure, still angry at her own apparent lack of control on her magic whenever she was far too emotional. A secondary effect of her time outside and one she knew would only disappear with time.  Nibbling her bottom lip, she willed the magic to disappear even if she was aware that the harm was already done: Emma’s own power was attuned to hers, the blonde’s own dirty white sparks were already dancing on her eyes by the time she was able to re-focus her gaze on her.

Which only made the shudder that run through her body much harder to hide from her.

It didn’t matter what version of the blonde she found looking at her after all; Emma always could sense things she sometimes wished she couldn’t. Opening her mouth, letting her lips immobile for a second too long, Regina waited until the pressure of the silence that filled the room felt unbearable.

And, from what she knew about the younger woman, if she was irked, Emma’s own skin must be crawling.

“Emma…” She didn’t finish the sentence, not entirely sure what she wanted to say. What one could say to the woman she had almost stopped an entire coronation for? Consequences be damned, the way nobles, those who now saw her as a hero apparently, would see her if she even didn’t follow through the actual process, not a blip on her radar as she had stared at Snow while trying hard not to mention Emma’s name.

What one could say to that woman indeed. The woman who had arrived, late but warm and while still strangely cagey, a brighter version that the one Regina had seen forwhat she had thought would be the last time. To the woman who had been standing right next to her throughout the whole evening once Hope had fallen asleep, not saying much but engaging in conversations and having, quite literally sometimes, Regina’s back when her previous epithet as Queen came in a conversation. To the woman who, after the party had started to dwindle, had proposed a stroll. The idea too chivalrous, too echoey of a world that Emma hadn’t been part of even if Regina had had and, despite that, Regina had accepted the offer with only a frown and a nod.

To the woman who, as they walked through the castle, had almost grasped her hand several times, always stopping herself in the last seconds, dirty white on her eyes, pupils dilated and irises dark. To the woman who had muttered hundredths of apologies before telling her one simple thing.

_“I want to kiss you.”_

“It was strange not seeing you for our meetings.”

Regina blinked, back in the present, as Emma approached her, hands still inside her pockets, shoulders rising.

“I know you weren’t going to be here, of course. But… I still almost came a few times.”

The brunette couldn’t say anything to the raw honesty Emma’s words exuded. She knew what the blonde was talking about of course. By the time she had gone to save Henry, the blonde’s friendship with her had reached some short of impasse neither of them seemed to truly know how to maneuver. They were still close, magic as strong as ever whenever they were needed to defend the town, but Regina couldn’t stay with Emma for too long before she needed to walk away, a hole inside her chest. The only moments when both still kept having some time together were in those weekly meetings in where Emma kept bringing her files to her. Despite both of them knowing there was no need to do such a thing.

And now Emma stood in front of her admitting she had missed those meetings, those moments each week in where they could almost pretend that everything was simple. Or simpler, than it had been back then. Swallowing a far too dry reply, Regina took a deep breath and eyed the taller woman.

She hadn’t been evading her, not really, but the fact still made her fingers tingle, her skin on fire beneath her clothes.

“If you have come for that…”

Emma interrupted her, taking another step towards the other side of the table, chin raised suddenly, cocky, brave, _Emma._

“I didn’t come for that.”

Regina’s mind latched on those; a barely-there memory of a dream she had had once swirling on her brain as she stood slowly, tips of her fingers pressed against the table’s surface.

_“Then what did you come for.”_

She could almost hear the words, escaping her mouth, painting themselves in the air with quill and ink. Muscles aching, she fought against the sensation, swallowing the words, trapping them between her teeth as she refused to say them. She wasn’t a puppet on an already told story. Not like that.

And she knew there were a myriad of things she could do; she could ask Emma to leave, ask her to stay, ask why, after so many years, it had been there, after a coronation, after everything, when Emma had finally decided to admit something Regina had known ever since Neverland. She could ask and she could demand but she didn’t feel like doing neither of those things.

Pushing herself away from the desk, she circled it with slow strides as Emma’s eyes followed her movements. Taking a step back when Regina finally came to her side, the blonde freed her hands and let them hand limp at both sides, sparks breaking free from her skin, biting into her, trailing through Emma’s neck before they were swallowed back.

“I want to kiss you.”

The words, echoed back after some weeks, elicited a gasp from the blonde, clearly not having expected that.

Which only spurred Regina further.

“I want to kiss you.” The brunette said, tasting the words, savoring them as she kept her eyes on Emma, not blinking, chest barely moving and lightheadedness beginning to settle at the very back of her skull. “I want to tell you that I’ve loved you for a very long time and that seeing you with him killed me. I want to tell you how angry I am that you let him  destroy you. That I didn’t want for the marriage to happen. That I tried to tell you this very same thing time and time again only for you to pull away.” As much as she tried, her breathing was labored by the end of her speech and Regina pressed her lips together, voice quivering when she finally continued. “I want to tell you that we both knew this.”

Emma’s answer was a nod, so minute, so short, Regina almost missed it. Almost.

But she didn’t and for that she lowered her eyes for a moment, magic resurfacing, crackling and far too warm for her body to bear; blisters raising on the palm of her hands only to be healed seconds after.

“I want to kiss you.” She repeated. Simple.

And Emma’s lips rose and curved.

“I know.” The same words Regina had used on her a few weeks prior. Only that, rather than doing the same the brunette had done at the time, Emma closed the space between them, hands grasping Regina’s, effectively suffocating the beginning of flames on her fingers as she closed her eyes and crashed her lips against the older woman’s.

“I know.”


End file.
